Attachment-informed
How early relationships and cultural conditioning taught you to connect, protect and expect, and how those patterns can be reworked toward something steadier.
Private psychotherapy practice · London & online
You have spent a long time being “fine”. This is a place to be honest.
Depth psychotherapy for South Asian men, on the things that tend to stay unspoken. Closeness that feels harder than it should. A shame you have never quite named. The weight of who you were raised to be.
Book a first conversation
A short, unhurried call. No pressure, and nothing to prepare.
If any of this sounds familiar
- Feeling distant or shut down with the people closest to you, even when you want to be close.
- A quiet shame you have never quite named, the sense that something underneath is wrong with you.
- Being the capable, dependable one, while carrying far more than anyone knows.
- Finding it hard to put feelings into words, or to let anyone really see you.
- The pull between who you are and who you were raised to be.
- Patterns in your relationships that keep repeating, however hard you try.
- Feeling successful on paper, and disconnected underneath.
None of this means something is wrong with you. It usually means you learned, for good reasons, to relate this way. What is learned can be reworked.
About
I'm Sumukh.
I'm Sumukh Nijhawan, the psychotherapist behind AttuneSpace. I work with South Asian men, on the parts of life that tend to stay unspoken. Why closeness can feel harder than it should. The shame that sits quietly underneath. The pull between who you are and who you were raised to be.
Many of the people I see have spent their lives being capable, dependable, and “fine” on the outside, while carrying more than anyone knows. I understand that, personally and through my research. As a Trainee Counselling Psychologist, my doctoral research looks closely at how South Asian men experience closeness, shame and change in their relationships, and why what Western therapy is quick to call “avoidant” is often culture, masculinity and shame, rather than anything broken in you.
My work is not to fix you. It is to give you somewhere to stop performing, be understood, and let something shift at a pace that feels safe. I keep this practice small and personal, so the people I work with have my full attention and the depth the work deserves.
My focus is South Asian men, though I also work with South Asian adults more widely, and you are welcome whoever you are.
Psychotherapist & Counsellor · Trainee Counselling Psychologist (DCPsych, Metanoia Institute) · MBACP · MNCPS Accred.
The work
What the work is like
Pluralistic and integrative. The relationship comes first, you lead, and I draw on whatever genuinely helps rather than forcing one method. A few threads run through everything.
Shame, met with compassion
Shame is something to understand and soften, never to confront or deepen. Especially the shame many of us carry about needing anything at all.
Culturally attuned
Family loyalty, expectation, migration and living between cultures are taken seriously, not treated as background noise.
Nervous system aware
Much of what we call thoughts and feelings lives in the body. We work at a pace your body can tolerate, never faster.
The different sides of you
Getting to know the various parts of yourself, including the protective ones, with curiosity rather than judgement.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Carl R. Rogers
A particular focus
For South Asian men
Much of my deepest work, and my doctoral research, is with South Asian men.
So much of what we are taught about being a man, and about being a good son, partner or provider, quietly trains us to hold it together, to not need much, and to keep the harder feelings to ourselves. That can look like strength. It can also leave us distant in our closest relationships, carrying a shame we never quite name.
What therapy is quick to call “avoidant” is often not a flaw at all. It is the meeting point of culture, masculinity and shame. You learned to relate this way, for reasons that made sense, and what is learned can be reworked.
“It’s the relationship that heals.”
Irvin D. Yalom
“It is a joy to be hidden, but disaster not to be found.”
Donald Winnicott
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Viktor E. Frankl
“What is most personal is most universal.”
Carl R. Rogers
Sessions & fees
How sessions work
- Format
- Online across the UK, and in person in London.
- Rhythm
- Usually weekly, at least to begin with.
- The work
- Open-ended and depth-oriented, focused on change that lasts.
- Fee
- £70 per session.
- First call
- We start with a free first conversation, around 15 minutes, to sense whether working together feels right. No pressure, and nothing to prepare.
Questions
Common questions
How many sessions will it take?
It depends on what you bring and what you are hoping for. Research on therapy outcomes suggests many people notice meaningful change within the first eight to twenty sessions, while longer-standing relational patterns, the kind this work often focuses on, tend to soften over a longer, open-ended course. We review how things are going together, regularly, and you are never tied in.
How long is each session?
Fifty minutes.
What does it cost?
£70 per session. A small number of concession spaces are sometimes available. If cost is the thing standing in your way, get in touch and we can talk it through.
What kind of therapy do you offer?
Pluralistic and integrative. I am trained in humanistic, psychodynamic and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and I draw on whichever of these genuinely helps you, rather than forcing one method onto your experience.
Do you only work with men?
My focus, and my research, is South Asian men. I also work with South Asian adults more widely, so you are welcome whoever you are.
Contact
Getting in touch
Reaching out can be the hardest part, especially when you are used to handling things yourself. There is no pressure here. If any of this has spoken to you, book a first call or send a short message. Everything you share is confidential.
